Last night I got a reminder of how much I appreciate my husband.
Jono did something that ticked me off, and we argued a little bit. He went to sleep (his favorite thing to do when he knows I’m mad at him), and afterward I sat in the living room looking up marriage articles to read. I was reading articles about women who were married to men with addictions and personality disorders, and the more I read, the more grateful I became for the relationship I have with my husband.
I know it sounds awful, but it really put things in perspective for me, and I realized that I had overreacted in our little tiff. So I wanted to apologize.
I went to our room to apologize and since he was already asleep, I kissed him on the mouth and whispered, “I’m sorry.” He opened his eyes briefly and grunted “Uh-huh,” in response. Satisfied, I went back to the living room and continued reading marriage articles. But I got to thinking, “When was the last time I did something that made my husband feel really special?”
Having kids is a huge blessing, and I wouldn’t trade ours for anything! But the responsibility of caring for them, while juggling our day jobs and our own businesses sometimes makes me forget that my husband needs to feel loved too! Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he doesn’t need me to show him affection.
I know this happens to a lot of women, particularly those of us with kids, so I decided to put some ideas together on habits we can start implementing to make our husbands feel loved and know how much we appreciate them all the time.
1. Schedule alerts that remind you to do something special for him.
Sometimes I’m so busy with work, the kids, and this blog that I just forget to show Jono affection. That’s why alerts are so key! Schedule time to do quick things, like sending him a thank-you text, a flirty message that will make him rush home to you, grab his favorite snack at the store. Whatever you decide to do, schedule it so it becomes a priority in your life instead of just staying in your brain as an idea that never gets done.
2. Send him text messages that express your appreciation
A text message to show appreciation may sound too simple, but words have power! Sometimes he may be having a really crappy day at work, and your words of affirmation will shift his mood because he’ll remember that his hard work isn’t in vain.
Another really great thing that I guarantee will brighten your husband’s day-and also make him rush home to you, is to flirt via text messaging. It may feel weird at first, but letting him know how attracted you are to him will give his ego a great big boost! Husbands love to know that their wives think they’re hot. Let him know what he can expect when he gets home that night-in detail!
3. Buy him a gift
I remember the first time I got my husband a gift after we got married. He had insisted that I didn’t need to get him anything for his birthday, that gifts weren’t his “love language,” but I didn’t care. We didn’t have much money at the time. We were living in a $400/month apartment in Huntsville and getting extra groceries from the local church food pantry, but I drove to Ross and combed through the men’s section for something for him.
I found him a nice, navy blue sports polo shirt from Nike for $20. He loved it! He said it made him feel like a sports coach whenever he wore it. So I never regretted spending that $20 on my boo!
4. Shout him out on social media
Guys like compliments just as much as we do. And guess what? They love when we do it on social media too! Letting the world know how amazing your husband is will definitely get you brownie points. Some wives constantly complain to their friends about all the things their husbands aren’t doing-you can be the wife that tells friends all the great things yours does. Focusing on his positive attributes lets him know that you see the effort he’s putting in.
5. Dress up in new lingerie and give him amazing sex
Yes, I know he’s going to take it all off anyway, but foreplay is so much fun! It makes sex SO much better when you give him an appetizer to make his mouth water. Men absolutely love it when their wives initiate sex. Knowing that you want him will make him feel like a king! If you only have sex when he initiates it, pretty soon he’ll feel like a dog begging for scraps all the time-and I know that’s not what you want. So take the initiative and release your inner tigress-he’ll welcome it!
Our husbands aren’t emotionless. They like to feel appreciated-especially by their wives! They need to know that we don’t take the little things they do every day for granted, like taking out the trash or picking up the kids from school.
I know it won’t be easy at first. You may be thinking, “Ugh, one more thing to add to my list of chores!” But girl, I am telling you it will be well worth it when you see your man light up like a Christmas tree! When you're intentional about showing affection, it will spark a cycle in your relationship. The more you communicate your love to your husband, the more love he’ll shower on you in return. Your connection will become stronger, and more passionate. A little time and money today will make for a marriage that never loses its spark!
What are you waiting for? Go love on your man!