In my last post I wrote about how to prevent your body insecurities from messing up your wedding night. I think both men and women have stuff that makes them insecure about their bodies, and it can definitely affect your wedding night. But that’s not the only thing that can make your first time tense and awkward. So I’m here to prep you so that you can have an AMAZING experience despite those things.
Listen, you’ll already be EXHAUSTED from weeks of wedding prep and all the festivities of the day. Relax, get in bed and just talk about the day while holding hands or something. However you decide to intro your wedding night, make sure it’s something that allows you to have fun and laugh. You have the rest of your lives together and there’s no need to rush.
Make foreplay your focus.
The key to great sex is great foreplay. Building sexual anticipation to the highest peak before doing any kind of penetration is super clutch (no pun intended...ok maybe a little). The way to do that is to involve as many senses as possible. Run your hands over each other’s bodies. Explore each other, find your favorite body part on your spouse’s body. Praise your spouse’s body out loud to them. It’ll make them smile and blush...and get them aroused! By the way husbands, this is also the key to getting your wife “in the mood” after she’s had a long day!
Not just sex.
I think this is where a lot of people get tripped up by their expectations. Your first time isn’t just about sex. In fact, it’s about everything that comes before it! You guys are experiencing vulnerability with each other on a completely new level. It takes getting used to. Just being naked with each other is a new kind of intimacy, and it takes getting used to. You are now entering a new realm-oneness-and it starts with the act of physically uncovering yourselves. For the rest of your lives, you’ll be uncovered with one another in every way-emotionally, spiritually, mentally. So remember to treat this moment with reverence and sensitivity and DO NOT RUSH through it.
Along with that I have to caution you not to expect an orgasm during your first time together. Husbands, it doesn’t mean you were a terrible lover if your wife doesn’t climax. Wives, it doesn’t mean you’re frigid and there’s something wrong with your sex drive. As you guys get comfortable with each other, and learn what the other person enjoys during sex, it will get better and better. For now, just enjoy the moment and celebrate your stage of intimacy.
So remember: No pressure, focus on foreplay, and celebrate your intimacy.
Till next time!