If He's Flirting, He Ain't Serious

You know that guy that you spend lots of time texting and talking to on the phone? Each time you guys say good night and hang up, you spend another hour of your time dissecting the conversation, the tone he used, the huskiness of his voice, trying to figure out the answer to the million-dollar question:

Is he into me, or nah?

Girl, I got you. I’m about to spend the next few minutes answering that question for you in detail.

The short answer is…..nope.

Wait, hear me out. I hate to dash your hopes, because I know you enjoy the back and forth flirting during your conversations, and the fact that he takes so much time out of his day to talk to you, but trust me, he ain’t serious.

Here’s the breakdown of the dictionary definition of flirting: 1) to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions and 2) to play at love.

Let’s hone in on the phrase “without serious intentions.” 

The bottom line is that no matter how much time you guys spend flirting, texting, talking on the phone, or whatever else, the guy’s intentions are not serious. He has no plans to make you his girlfriend, let alone make you his “wifey.”

Guys are like lions. Lions carefully stalk, attack, kill, and all the other animals know to stay away until the lion is done with his food, or risk getting torn apart themselves.

When a guy is really serious about dating a girl he likes, he makes a 10 page plan on how he’s going to approach her. He may even sit down and consult with his guy friends to make sure that his plan is legit and has a really good chance of working. And when he’s interested, he’s going to make sure that it’s obvious to you and everyone else. And he will pursue you persistently.

If this guy is taking up all your time when he does decide to hit you up, but has made no mention of his feelings for you, his intentions to become your boyfriend, or even asked you out on a date, let him go.

 If he constantly pays you compliments and makes you feel like he’s fascinated by you, but then acts the same way with other women, let him go.

If he spends one week blowing up your phone, then goes MIA for the next week, let him go.

He doesn’t have marriage on his mind (at least not with you). You’re one of many possibilities that he is toying with. He likes the idea of having you around, but that’s about as far as it goes. In short, he is playing with you until he makes up his mind about which of the ten women on his list he wants to settle down and pursue.

That’s not what you deserve. You deserve a man who’s going to approach you with clear intentions. You deserve a man who spends time on the phone with you because he wants to win your heart and make you his. You deserve to be pursued by a man who shouts it from the rooftops and brags to all his friends about the awesome woman you are.  A man who truly wants you will not have you guessing at what he wants from you. If you have to guess, please save yourself the heartache and wasted time and move on. I had to learn that the hard way, and I wrote all about it in this post.

You deserve more, much more.  The question is, do you believe that?

Take care!

Kay Gus

Want to learn more about what it takes to love once you say “I Do?” Click here to download "Love Me This Way," written by yours truly for FREE!