Everyone wants to be happy in love. No one wakes up and decides to be in dysfunctional relationships No one makes it a goal to get their heart broken, or hurt someone else, or settle. So why do we do it? Why do we inevitable find ourselves in unhappy relationships?
I thought about conversations that my husband and I have had with other people about their relationships. These same things usually keep coming up when we talk about making bad decisions when it comes to choosing someone to be with:
- You’re settling because you don’t think you’re a great catch. You’ve convinced yourself that this is your one shot at happiness, because after all, who else is going to want to be with someone like you? You look in the mirror and all you can see is your flaws and failures. You see someone who doesn’t deserve to be happy and in love.
- You’re settling because you’re afraid of staying single too long. You have people breathing down your neck, asking you why you’re not married. You’re tired of being the third wheel, or being the only single bridesmaid again. You’re just tired of being single and you’re worried that you’ll end up single for the rest of your life. You see your current relationship as your one chance to join the marriage bandwagon, even if you know deep down that this person is not your soul’s mate.
- You’re settling because you’re a people pleaser. If this is you, you’ve lived your life according to people’s expectations. You don’t have your own set of values, and you don’t know what you want out of life. You’re dating your current partner because of their charm, or bank account, or because they’re a respected figure in the community, not because you actually see them as marriage material.
- In other situations you may date someone out of pity or gratitude. They came through for you and you feel indebted to them, so you shackle yourself to them, knowing that it isn't a good idea.
Marriage is not something you want to settle for. Your greatest joys in life will be so because of the person standing beside you. You are NOT your past mistakes. You have so much to offer, and you deserve to be in a healthy, happy marriage with someone who makes you smile and laugh. So don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.