What I Wish My Single Friends Understood

I have very close friends who are single, and we have heart to heart talks about these things. Hence, I feel like I can speak from both perspectives when I say this:

Stop wishing your singleness away! Yes, I know you want to discover the beauty and awesomeness of sex, I know you yearn for companionship, and yes, I know it’s annoying to have to keep making new friends as your circle gets smaller with each passing year, but don’t wish your singleness away! I say embrace it!

I know that there are people out there, some of whom I know personally, who feel like God is being unfair because they’ve been “good” Christians, took the high road of celibacy and purity, and yet God still hasn’t sent anyone their way.

Let me put some perspective on your situation for you:

I’ve been married for almost 7 years now and sometimes a part of me wishes I could go back to my single days! Yes, I love being a wife and mother, but let me tell you that love is draining! That's right, it drains you because it takes EVERYTHING to love-heart strength and physical strength. I’m talking about pushing past your feelings to put your pride aside and apologize, staying up late and waking up early to wash laundry, cook breakfast, and do other endless chores. Not to mention the other kinds of drama that come with being married: in-law issues, financial issues, and any other issues you can think of to insert here.

Bottom line: Life becomes a lot more complicated when two become one. Gone are the days when you could have a two-hour devotion and Bible study session in bed. Poof! There goes the time and money you used to be able to invest in dinners and parties and trips. You have a new set of priorities and have to juggle everything while keeping God first. It’s not easy, and that’s putting it mildly. So trust me when I say ENJOY the time that you have right now, because you’re free to do WHATEVER you want with it.

The second most important thing I want to tell singles out there is this: if you’re life feels unfulfilled now, it will STILL feel that way when you get into a relationship. Once the novelty of having a special someone wears off, you’ll start to notice that the little ache of emptiness is still there.  To compensate, you may end up losing yourself more and more in your significant other, but you’ll only end up becoming a reflection of who they are instead of who you are meant to be.

Only God can fulfill you. Until He’s enough for you, nothing else will be. So use your time as a single person to invest in a relationship with God until you can honestly say to yourself that if God sees fit to allow you to remain single, you’ll be okay.

The next step is to ask God to show you what your purpose is. Ask Him, “What problem am I the solution to?” “How am I supposed to use the gifts you’ve given me?” Chances are that your passion will lead you to your purpose. Once you realize what you were put on this earth to do, there’s nothing more fulfilling. And if God sends you someone that you can fulfill your mission with, cool! Until then, keep your head down and work! Work on yourself. Work on behalf of others. And most importantly, trust. Trust God’s heart and know that it’s full of wonderful intentions toward you, and that He plans to give you an amazing life.

Till next time!